On a usual workday, in an office environment, an employee turns up with visible tattoos, and a unique hair color and checking-in later than others. He likes to wrap up his day earlier and prefers to leave a bit before time. Now picture this against an employee who comes in a well-ironed semi-formal attire, on time, and leaves after finishing his shift or even later than that.
Which of the two appears to be more work-centric?
Of course, the latter
And inputs from which one of the two will be taken more seriously.
Again, the answer is unanimous.
But if you look a bit more carefully and examine, both are trying to be their original selves at work. However, the template of an effective worker is fixated in our minds in such a way, because of which “being yourself” and “being taken seriously” appear incompatible.
Why “not being your true self” at work is a problem?
Many people feel they are not being their true selves at work. They must show up and behave in a certain way, and eventually, they try hard to fit in. We hide things, we sacrifice a lot, we take all the flak with a smile and get back to the ordeal without a flinch.
Adding to that is the tough macro-economic and current workplace situation, which is pushing us to the extremity of putting up a façade. But is that sustainable?
As per a recent study, 1 in 9 across the world in Apr’20 was at risk of burnout and in Apr’21, this ratio went up to 1 in 3. Alarming, isn’t it?
Now imagine a leader with this thought process would expect the same from others, which leads to a lack of original ideas, underconfident team members, and more occurrences of people pleasing. Instead of diversity, this triggers more compliance.
How to be yourself at work
It is understandable that in an organization we try to belong, we want to show our credibility and be a part of a successful tribe. However, out of the fear of falling below expectations or disappointing others, we fall into a paradoxical trap. We pretend to be fine instead of seeking support and ignore our own boundaries to please others. The way we are perceived weighs much more than how we feel about ourselves.
As per an article from Lan Nguyen Chaplina, a Professor in Integrated Marketing communications, it’s easier to be comfortable at the workplace being your own in the following ways :
You belong in the room – Every one of us belongs there, it’s just a matter of the right mindset. Detail out what sets you apart from the others – your talent, beliefs, skill sets, and values. And what is the organization losing out on if they don’t have you around? A clear answer to these while introspecting, goes a long way in reaffirming the belief in yourself. Even the innate talents that you have, which seem unimportant to you, need not be written off. It was and is an important part of your personality and that’s why you were hired.
Be vulnerable – We appear flawless to gain respect but in the long run, this becomes transient. It’s better to appear vulnerable to form deeper, meaningful connections. At work, when we form trusted and long-lasting relationships, we tend to perform at higher levels that we never even knew existed. “Being vulnerable is letting your guard down just enough to allow others to feel human along with you.”
Set clear boundaries – Being vulnerable doesn’t mean you have to overshare. You are the one to create the right boundaries as per your unique needs and wants. And even if you fully let the guard down to someone, it is okay because this process of controlled sharing comes with a lot of trial and error and takes time to master. Create a list of negotiables and non-negotiables, the former in which you or no one else can violate or compromise the boundaries, and the latter, in which for certain goals, the boundaries can be violated but only when you permit.
Sticking to your version and being yourself doesn’t come naturally to us since societal norms have coached us to keep these in check. But in the end, the underlying objective for all of us is to be successful and lead a fulfilling, peaceful life.
Being true to yourself and bringing that same version to work is an evolving process in which you get to learn more about your values and character. And now with the increased emphasis on employee experience and workplace humanization, it has become impossible to overlook what you are, what you bring to the table, and how you contribute as an individual.
So yes, this is your chance to thrive and flourish, don’t let yourself down.
Great article Karan! Well organized thoughts, as usual!